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Get Outa Town!

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine March 2017 When you get nice and comfortable with your musical act and have a substantial fan base filling up the bar stools at your gigs, you mistakenly believe that these fans will be…
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Alternative Facts: Music Edition

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine February 2017 Here are a few fun alternative facts about the music industry for you: The Grammy Awards celebrate the best in music and is not a politically-charged, campaign-style feverish quest for votes wherein…
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Winter Gigs

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine January 2017 It’s gonna be cold. It’s gonna be grey. And it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life, says Bill Murray.  Now is the winter of our discontent, as it were…
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A Musician’s Carol

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine December 2016  Ghost of Music Past “Suzy darling, do you remember when you were 8-years old?” said the cheery-eyed apparition who appeared out of nowhere. “Heck no! I’m lucky I can remember what I…
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Give The People What They Want

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine November 2016 In the entertainment industry it is standard practice to give the people what they want. This is actually a contradiction in terms. If I gave the people what they wanted, I would…
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Calluses, Meniere’s, and Large Uvulas

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine October 2016 Like a professional athlete, a professional musician must stay in shape, or else you do things like pass out on stage, pee yourself on stage, or get weird leg cramps in the…
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How to Get Along Like Fleetwood Mac

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine September 2016 These two are married and currently not on speaking terms. These two are getting a divorce but are in really good moods. These two are having an affair. This one’s leaving, this…
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Under The Covers

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine August 2016 Does anybody understand “BREXIT?” Heck No! Does anybody understand the Department of Justice’s latest decision regarding consent and licensing and royalties controlled by Performing Rights Organizations ASCAP and BMI? All the more…
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Musicians’ Unspoken Nod of Understanding

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine July 2016 While washing and scrubbing out the dog food bowl this morning I spied my bulldog Penelope out of the corner of my eye so I turned a little and nodded and bobbed…
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How To Write Songs

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine June 2016 Constructing a song that people want to actually listen to and enjoy is a science. Writing songs is akin to keeping a journal and then taking those most inner thoughts and encapsulating…
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Nightmare Gigs

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine May 2016 Throughout my illustrious and surely un-famous musical career I have been plagued with nightmares between the restless hours of three and five a.m. But they’re not your standard falling, drowning, getting chopped…
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Don’t You Know Who I Am?

*originally published in Sound Waves Magazine April 2016 Spring is here! But life as a musician ain’t all Easter bunnies and daffodils, I’m sorry to say. Musicianhood is fraught with self-doubt, heartache, disappointment, bloody fingers, late nights and worst of…